I’m now on Google Wave

Posted by & filed under computers, general, projects.

I finally had a Google Wave invitation come through this morning, so if you’re on it and bored, “wave” at mrbill@googlewave.com.

I don’t yet have any invites to send out, sorry.

Nothing makes you feel old like email…

Posted by & filed under computers, general, humor, opinion.

From “fourteen years ago today”. An old friend and ex-coworker sent me this, found while digging through mail archives.


From: Bill Bradford 
Subject: Re: Gimme, gimme, gimme :) 
To: Jeff Bewley 
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 15:32:15 -0500 (CDT)
In-Reply-To: <199510122020.PAA08909@ion1.ionet.net> 
from "Jeff Bewley" at Oct 12, 95 03:20:30 pm

> Well, folks, sorry to whine again,

Oh, no problem, wabbit@tulsa-victim.ionet.net. 8-)  We're used
to it by now. 

> Seriously, I have one #2 Win disk left, and I haven't ever
> got any Win95 disks...I know you guys hate running the
> Disk-o-matic 2000, but I hate having people stop by
> and get in my face for not having the software. :) 

I'll tell Jay when he gets here to fire it up.

> Thanks! I'll buy ya'll a beer next time I'm in OKC (heh..
> have fun splitting that can of Natural Light between
> the three of ya!)

Honestly, I just might be OLD ENOUGH by the time you get
down here to actually DRINK it!  I turn 21 on 11/5.
NOW if I can just get Mom to buy me that Netra5 for
my birthday..... 8-) 

> Seriously, I'd really appreciate any help you could give me on
> this! Thanks!

Will do.

bill


Jeff's comment, "No matter how bad things get, they'll never be as bad as duplicating install disks for Win95 at ioNET."

Just a little ink…

Posted by & filed under general, houston.

Five years ago when I turned 30, I had a “midlife crisis” and got my left ear pierced. Since then, I’ve thought about getting something else done, but could never decide on what to get as a first tattoo.

After everything that’s happened in the past four months after Amy’s death, I now know what I”m going to get. Shortly after I’m Raised to Master Mason (hopefully on my birthday, November 5th), I’ll go down the street from my house and get this on my right upper arm, probably 3″x3″:

Why the Masonic Square and Compasses? Because it’s an organization I’ve wanted to join for years, finally joined last October, and my lodge Brothers are some of the main people who have kept me alive, sane, and occupied after Amy’s passing.

For a second tattoo, I may eventually get this, on my left upper arm:

Why this? Because Amy’s online nickname was “Steggy”, short for “Stegosaurus”. I think she would like it.

I will probably get the work done at The Electric Chair on Richmond, unless anyone has a recommendation for a better shop in that part of town.

Thoughts About Personal Happiness and Sacrifice

Posted by & filed under general, opinion.

This post didn’t come out as clear in writing as it did in discussions over the weekend, but here it is anyway.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about things lately. Where I’ve been in life, what I’ve done, where I want to go, or heck, even what to have for lunch lately. Goals – stuff I wanted to do, stuff that’s happened, and things that I want to happen. Short and long-term.

If I had to name my biggest personality fault, it’s that when I’m in a relationship with someone, I will do my utmost to make them happy. I’ll do whatever is necessary (whether it involves physical actions, spending money, etc) to ensure their happiness – even if in the past that meant sacrificing some of my own satisfaction or contentment.

I would give up or postpone my own personal desires, wants, and needs in order to make sure that the other person got what they wanted, was able to go where they wanted to go, or do what they wanted to do. More than once I’ve sold my own personal property to make up for a shortcoming in money management to make sure that bills were paid, or to ensure that we could afford that pair of designer shoes or a purse that they wanted. For years, I’ve gotten used to giving up things that I’ve worked hard for and enjoyed.

This all boils down to the fact that I’ve done this too many times and that from now on, it’s time to make sure that I’m happy too. It’s possible for both myself and the person I’m with to be happy with the way things are, and that’s the way it’s going to be from now on.

Sure, every relationship involves some compromise, but there’s no longer going to be any “suck up and live with it” or “grin and bear it” or “I put up with it because I love her” excuses for things that shouldn’t be going on in the first place. It’s OKAY to say “Look, what you’re doing is not right” or “you need to sit down and please think about what your habit is doing to yourself, our relationship, and how it affects our finances”.

I’ve realized that unconditional love doesn’t have to mean unconditional sacrifice. It IS possible for BOTH people in a relationship to be happy.

It’s time for me to be truly happy again.

The Middle Chamber

Posted by & filed under freemasonry, general, houston.

I’m now a Fellow Craft Freemason. Tonight I turned in (and passed) the last part of my Entered Apprentice proficiency and then was Passed to the Degree of Fellow Craft.

Another Picture of Amy

Posted by & filed under general, opinion, Photography.

An old friend of Amy contacted me today, as she’d just heard about what happened. Amy had been a bridesmaid in her wedding four years ago, but they’d dropped out of touch. However, she had some pictures!

Amy the Bridesmaid

Of course, Amy is in the back wearing blue.

Update: Nancy sent me two more pictures.

Amy the Bridesmaid 3 Amy the Bridesmaid 4

A Change in Relationship Status

Posted by & filed under general, houston, opinion.

I’ve mentioned “a friend” a lot lately, and well, it’s time to introduce that friend. Everyone, meet Kathy.

We met online about a month ago, and at first just intended to hang out as friends and swap stories (she also lost her spouse, a couple of years ago). However, things just CLICKED. I feel like I’ve known her for years, and really enjoy the time we get to spend together. Among other things, it’s nice to be able to swap “spouse stories” without the other person getting annoyed. I don’t have to worry about bursting into tears when talking about happy memories of Amy and our years together.

(December 2009 update): Kathy and I are no longer in a “committed relationship”, but remain close friends.

Adapt and Overcome

Posted by & filed under freemasonry, general, houston, projects.

I’ve got a big box containing at least 350-400 slides from Gray Lodge #329 that I need to scan.

One problem – my scanner (an old HP Scanjet 6200C) does not have a transparency adapter.

One trip to Ace Hardware later, things are working fine.

Six paint stirrer sticks (free), cut to appropriate lengths, taped to the scanner body over the glass with blue painter’s tape. These serve as guides to keep the slides straight; I can only put three slides on the glass at once.

One 18″ long, 15-watt flourescent light fixture with bulb. Once the slides are on the scanner glass, I position the light shining down through them down into the body of the scanner.

VueScan scanner software, running on my MacBook Core Duo (recently reinstalled with OSX 10.6.1 “Snow Leopard”). This supports the HP (and damn near every other scanner on the planet), and lets me put it into “transparency mode” where the built-in light on the scanner head is turned off. I’ve been using VueScan since 2001 and have never found anything better.

The scans are only ending up being around 800×600 since the maximum resolution of my scanner is 600dpi. However, this is fine for now; I’ll eventually buy a new scanner (whenever I’m able to sell some of Amy’s purse collection) and redo the scans at 1200dpi.

Update: A dedicated $40 slide scanner works great, although I still need to clean up the output a bit.

Sadness and Happiness

Posted by & filed under general, houston, opinion.

Things are gradually getting better. I now only break into tears a couple times a week, instead of a couple times a day. Memories are now happy memories of good times, instead of bad memories of bad times or the night that Amy passed away.

I’ve been wondering a lot lately if things happen for a reason. As a result of Amy’s death, I’ve made a number of new friends here locally and am actually getting out of the house from time to time and being somewhat social. This is a huge thing for me. Even with the sadness, my overall stress level has gone down tremendously.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with one of those friends in particular. She lost her husband in 2007, and we have an amazing number of things in common. It’s nice to be able to sit and talk to someone about your deceased spouse without having to worry about them getting annoyed at the stories – and it’s only better since we have a shared love of certain foods and certain book genres.

I may actually try to brave the hassle of the local Social Security office this week to see what hoops I have to jump through to get Amy’s $255 death benefit. It will help pay off bills.