Best spam I’ve gotten all week

This made me laugh for a good five minutes. Very obviously scraped from Facebook page titles.

Date: Fri, 7 Jun 2013 20:49:34 +0530
From  Fri Jun  7 10:31:16 2013
From: Shirley Jones <>
Subject: Launching Bill's Online Backup - Potential Partnership


My name is Shirley Jones- and I'm trying to get in touch with the person at Bill's Massage Parlor and PC Repair who supervises the selection of new products Bill's Massage Parlor and PC Repair offers its customers. SOS specializes in helping businesses like yours launch a fully managed and rebranded offsite backup service for your customers.  E.g. Bill's Online Backup.

The Belt Story

I shared this with a mailing list of friends last night, and realized that I’d not posted it here.

I was born in ’74, and “grew up” in the 80s of course. Don’t remember the year, but it was pre’84.

Was grocery shopping with my mom and little brother, and of course, I was being a little pissant. She threatened to spank me if I didn’t behave.

My little smart ass piped up with “You can’t spank me, you don’t have a BELT!”

Mom stops right there, walks over to the Cowboy ™ (this was early-80s Oklahoma, remember) at the end of the aisle, and says “Excuse me, sir. Can I borrow your belt? I need to spank my child.”

“Certainly, ma’am.” And he whips off his cowboy belt (with name on the back, of course) and hands it over.

She storms back to me, whips my ass, then returns the belt to its owner. “Thank you.” “Anytime, ma’am.”

I never smarted off in the grocery store EVER AGAIN.

Why I Love Frost Bank

Called Frost Bank customer service a couple of weeks ago, and the CS rep had to ask me some questions to verify my ID.
After I answered them, I joked “5’10”, brown hair, blood type A positive” and she countered with “And what is your favorite color?”
I answered with “Blue.. No, green!” and she went “AHHHHHHH!”, and we both cracked up.
You have to love friendly reps who quote Monty Python movies.

Nothing makes you feel old like email…

From “fourteen years ago today”. An old friend and ex-coworker sent me this, found while digging through mail archives.

From: Bill Bradford 
Subject: Re: Gimme, gimme, gimme :)
To: Jeff Bewley 
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 15:32:15 -0500 (CDT)
In-Reply-To: <> 
from "Jeff Bewley" at Oct 12, 95 03:20:30 pm

> Well, folks, sorry to whine again,

Oh, no problem, 8-)  We're used
to it by now. 

> Seriously, I have one #2 Win disk left, and I haven't ever
> got any Win95 disks...I know you guys hate running the
> Disk-o-matic 2000, but I hate having people stop by
> and get in my face for not having the software. :)

I'll tell Jay when he gets here to fire it up.

> Thanks! I'll buy ya'll a beer next time I'm in OKC (heh..
> have fun splitting that can of Natural Light between
> the three of ya!)

Honestly, I just might be OLD ENOUGH by the time you get
down here to actually DRINK it!  I turn 21 on 11/5.
NOW if I can just get Mom to buy me that Netra5 for
my birthday..... 8-)

> Seriously, I'd really appreciate any help you could give me on
> this! Thanks!

Will do.


Jeff's comment, "No matter how bad things get, they'll never be as bad as duplicating install disks for Win95 at ioNET."

Can’t complain about equipment uptime..

Cisco Internetwork Operating System Software
IOS (tm) C2900XL Software (C2900XL-C3H2S-M), Version 12.0(5.2)XU,
Copyright (c) 1986-2000 by cisco Systems, Inc.
Compiled Mon 17-Jul-00 17:35 by ayounes
Image text-base: 0x00003000, data-base: 0x00301F3C

ROM: Bootstrap program is C2900XL boot loader
switchname uptime is 4 years, 42 weeks, 4 days, 20 hours, 
46 minutes

System returned to ROM by power-on
System image file is "flash:c2900XL-c3h2s-mz-120.5.2-XU.bin"

cisco WS-C2912-XL (PowerPC403GA) processor (revision 0x11) with 
8192K/1024K bytes of memory.
Processor board ID FAB0519Y004, with hardware revision 0x01
Last reset from power-on

Processor is running Enterprise Edition Software
Cluster command switch capable
Cluster member switch capable
12 FastEthernet/IEEE 802.3 interface(s)

I should probably upgrade the IOS image on this switch (this is what it shipped with), but I don’t have a Cisco CCO account with access to download the latest version.