Sadness and Happiness

Things are gradually getting better. I now only break into tears a couple times a week, instead of a couple times a day. Memories are now happy memories of good times, instead of bad memories of bad times or the night that Amy passed away.

I’ve been wondering a lot lately if things happen for a reason. As a result of Amy’s death, I’ve made a number of new friends here locally and am actually getting out of the house from time to time and being somewhat social. This is a huge thing for me. Even with the sadness, my overall stress level has gone down tremendously.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with one of those friends in particular. She lost her husband in 2007, and we have an amazing number of things in common. It’s nice to be able to sit and talk to someone about your deceased spouse without having to worry about them getting annoyed at the stories – and it’s only better since we have a shared love of certain foods and certain book genres.

I may actually try to brave the hassle of the local Social Security office this week to see what hoops I have to jump through to get Amy’s $255 death benefit. It will help pay off bills.

4 thoughts on “Sadness and Happiness

  1. I am a firm believer that things do not “happen for a reason.” Things happen. You deal with the consequences. Life goes on.

  2. i very much believe things happen for a reason, even the saddest of situations. time heals, we go on, and sometimes the future is brighter than we could have ever imagined.

  3. I am a firm believer of the way things happen for a reason. It’s just that the reasons are not always immediately evident. Time changes our perspective and things eventually appear a little clearer than they did at the time.

  4. I stumbled over a blog post of yours from 2005 while trying to debug a Solaris issue. on a whim, I decided to check your front page, just to see what else was up, maybe something cool and UNIXy.

    instead, I’ve spent the past 20 minutes reading about your tragedy, nearly moved to tears.

    love and luck to you from a random internet wanderer.

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