I’m meltinnnggg….

My new asthma medicines must have sped up my metabolism. A week after I got out of the hospital, I bought all new smaller shirts and pants. Now, I can easily stick a balled-up fist between my waistband and my waist.

Another 2-3 weeks, and I’ll have to buy more pants because these new ones are already falling off me.

August 2013 update: I just received this in an email:

“I’m currently doing a reputation management audit for a client. I noticed that on your blog, specifically this post: http://weblog.mrbill.net/archives/2007/02/27/im-meltinnnggg/ he said some stupid things and started a flame war. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind deleting his comments under the name R.P.”

35 thoughts on “I’m meltinnnggg….

  1. Bill, this comment has nothing to do with the post its connected with. I had no interest in searching for a pertinent appendage, and decided to bash you here, on an irrelivant rambling you made that provided me with easy access.

    the reason i give a shadow of a whisper of a shit is your stupidity in this statement:

    “So what? Pretty much all Americans who aren’t actually out there fighting the dirty wars that America fights in America’s name are in some sense “ripping off” US “forces” (good word to describe them).”

    first off, i should commend you for finding such a complicated two-syllable word to discribe the wars fought by America. “Dirty” is just barely uncorrelated enough with the subject that you ALMOST sound like a word smith. ALMOST. personally i think a one syllable word would have showed you so real inguenuity.

    but ive digressed from what was to be a short case of highlighting the fact that you mocking use of the term us “forces”. that makes no sense at all. yes, they are a force. Is there supposed to be some childish pun in there to hide the fact that youre some type of psuedo-intellectual? you failed. we dont get your point bill, and now youre looking silly.

    oh sure you’re not the stupidest, but you never were quite the brightest in your class now were you bill? or maybe you think you were…

    the top tenth of a percent is laughing at you bill. hell, the rest probably are too.


    A 21 year old Army journalist who outscored you on every test you’ve ever taken.

  2. Excuse me? I’ve never said or written:

    “So what? Pretty much all Americans who aren’t actually out there fighting the dirty wars that America fights in America’s name are in some sense “ripping off” US “forces” (good word to describe them.”

    I have no idea why you’ve attributed this statement to me, or why you’ve chosen to attack me for something I’ve never said.

    Ah, I found it. A Google search leads to here. You want to attack “rob” for his comment, not my comment where I said “21 cents a minute is pretty good for international long distance”.

    I believe that you’re the idiot in this situation – as a “21-year old Army journalist”, you should be able to tell who made what comment. You should also know better than to flame and insult someone using taxpayer-provided government equipment (I notice your @us.army.mil return address, as well as a posting IP of, ws13-6.campbell.army.mil).

    By the way, I graduated National Honor Society, in the top ten percent of my class, received a college scholarship, and was voted “Most Likely to Succeed”.

  3. Also I would imagine that as a journalist you should have a grasp of punctuation and possibly know how to properly spell “describe”.

  4. He originally misspelled “journalist” too, but I edited it to fix the typo and then removed his second comment that talked about it.

  5. Someone who paid attention in school would also be able to spell “ingenuity”, “pseudo”, “sincerely” and “irrelevant”.

  6. Dear r.p.,

    On behalf of other veterans of the US Armed Forces that fought wars tougher, longer and without nearly half of the technology that you now rely on, may I say “Thank You” for completely embarrassing us on a public web forum.

    Not only are your “journalistic” talents about as polished as my best pair of jungle boots that I just wore while picking up dog shit out of my yard, but your inability to aim your drivel at the appropriate person seriously causes me to hope and pray that you aim your M16A2 better than you aim your mouth.

    Do me and thousands of other veterans a favor, okay? The next time you post something so incoherent that the recipient of your flame has to go back and EDIT YOUR FRICKING POST FOR GRAMMAR AND SPELLING, please feel free to NOT mention that you are in active military service. Please?

    And while you’re at it, please send that dude on your eBay feedback page his iPod that he paid for – and fix the spelling on your myspace page. Pakistan has one (and one only) ‘K” in it.


    Veteran Monkey
    United States Army Veteran
    Proudly Served Before You Grew Pubes

  7. PFC R.P. is a text book example of what psychologist call “projection,” what this has to do with your current weight loss is beyond me, in any case it is good to see you recovering from your last hospital experience. People like PFC P. is probably one of the reasons why my granddad a former US Army Lt. General (Corps of engineers/intelligence) is rolling in his grave right now. When a supposedly US Army journalist can’t even spell his job title correctly you know we have hit rock bottom as a society. Maybe the movie Idiocracy was not a comedy after all….

    (I just got to this page from the sunhelp site BTW, and I just wanted to thank you for maintaining it).

  8. It’s amazing, not to say scary, that people like the original commenter get to carry loaded weapons around.

    Knowing that doesn’t make me feel any safer living pretty close to the US border (in Canada). I just hope there are enough sane people around to keep him (and others like him) in check.

  9. Oh but you did bill, you didn’t say this:

    “Posted by: Bill Bradford | March 10, 2006 at 10:13 AM
    So what? Pretty much all Americans who aren’t actually out there fighting the dirty wars that America fights in America’s name are in some sense “ripping off” US “forces” (good word to describe them). What’s new? Watch public US funds flow to private pockets, and when it’s uncovered, nobody gives a damn. Come on Tom, you should be onto it enough to see what’s going on – even the old Neocons are starting to slink away and look for other things to do …”

    Maybe you didn’t, and if not it DOES make me the idiot, and I half apologize. Maybe the attack was unwarranted. But since I make stupid mistakes all the time, I’ll try not to get me down too much.

    Being so young, I LIVE on an Army post, and somehow I think I can get away with attacking those who would attack us, even from my own computer.

    but im glad to know that you have friends bill. its beautiful that you all can try to defame a character that you do not know. Granted I slandered (your) stupid stupid statement regarding armed forces, but then I can fairly assess it because you posted it to be read. yes, i was late shipping not one but two items actually, because the payments were late and didnt judge my scheduling accurately. when i regained interenet access (which was after less than 2 weeks in the field), they were more than satisfied with the financial resolution.

    yes, i am 21, and as a free spirited blogger, i spit out grammar errors without a thought to check them. I am not at work, and i feel no obligation to spell check for mistakes like ‘ingeunity’. even if i wasnt bright enough to place an ‘n’ in jouralism (and thats accuasation makes your grammar attacks seem a little stupid don’t you think?), Microsoft would catch it for me, if I gave a shit??? Maybe one day Microsoft will come up with a program to teach you to compose.

    If you want to throw mud, find some real dirt. Its there, you just have to dig a little.

    and its hilarious how many identities you have bill, or sad how many people really think i am “insane or too stupid” to carry a weapon. if youre going to say that what i posted makes me unqualified for service, youre fucking stupid. at least i recognized the original poster had some smarts, even if what he said was stupid as hell.

    but maybe i am too stupid for the service… you come protect our country instead ok?

    Post script: Veteran monkey, im glad your dishonorable discharge hasn’t gotten you down too much.

    Post post script: I spelled interent wrong.

    (note by mrbill: I combined both of R.’s comments into a single one.)

  10. R., you’re oblivious, aren’t you?

    As I’ve pointed out above, here is the comment I made:

    “21 cents a minute is a darn good rate for international long distance…
    Posted by: Bill Bradford | March 10, 2006 at 10:13 AM”

    If you look closely at the weblog entry in question, you’ll see that the author of a comment is identified UNDER the comment they made, not ABOVE.

    Once again, the comment you’re flaming was “Posted by: rob | March 10, 2006 at 02:30 AM“.

  11. What I wonder is, how the hell R. made it past the psych exam. Clearly they missed something.

    R.: take a clue and shut off your computer before someone who knows your commanding officer picks up the phone. You have no fracking idea who Mr. Bill knows.

  12. R., I’d like to see a legitimate apology.

    Do you realize how much trouble you could be in if I decide to pick up the phone tomorrow and call your commanding officer?

    While representing yourself as an Army journalist and using government telecommunications systems, you have falsely accused me of statements that I did not make, and have continued to harass and attack me even after you were informed that I did not make the statements in question. You have also used those same government facilities to insult other former military personnel.

    From Army Regulation 25–1:

    Official uses of telecommunications and computing systems.

    (1) The use of DOD and other Government telephone systems, electronic mail (e-mail), and other systems (including the Internet) are limited to the conduct of official business or other authorized uses. Commanders and supervisors at all levels will make anyone using Government telecommunications systems aware of permissible and unauthorized uses.

    (4) Official business calls and e-mail messages are defined as those necessary in the interest of the Government (for example, calls and e-mail messages directly related to the conduct of DOD business or having an indirect impact on DOD’s ability to conduct its business).

    Prohibitions in telecommunications usage.
    Other prohibitions in the use of Army communications systems include the following:

    (1) Use of communications systems that would adversely reflect on DOD or the Army (such as uses involving sexually explicit e-mail or access to sexually explicit Web sites, pornographic images, or virtual computer-generated or otherwise pornographic images); chain e-mail messages; unofficial advertising, soliciting, or selling via e-mail; and other uses that are incompatible with public service.

    (2) Use of communications systems for unlawful activities, commercial purposes, or in support of for-profit activities, personal financial gain, personal use inconsistent with DOD policy, personal use that promotes a particular religion or faith, or uses that violate other Army policies or public laws. This may include, but is not limited to, violation of intellectual property, gambling, terrorist activities, and sexual or other forms of harassment.

  13. Dearest R.,

    Please excuse the thunderous laughter cascading through this post, but you are clearly delusional and in need of a few hours of PT in the sawdust pit.

    Your comment “Post script: Veteran monkey, im glad your dishonorable discharge hasn’t gotten you down too much.” is quite humorous to me. Not only do I have an honorable discharge, a current TS/SCI security clearance, and the luxury of veterans benefits that I earned through a lot of blood, sweat, tears and putting up with shit-tard E3’s like yourself, but I have the luxury of enjoying you squirm as the heat lamp of reality starts to melt away the bad-ass military boy facade that you hide behind through such ludicrous internet posts like those you’ve written here.

    I won’t waste my time tearing you apart further, because it’s bad karma.

    However, I want you to think about something the next time you slide your BDUs on and lace up your boots.

    A lot of good men and women have DIED in that uniform that you parade around in and act cocky while wearing. They did so with no regard for their own personal safety or a thought of the consequences.

    You know why they did that?

    Because they were real soldiers, and the epitome of what the US Armed Forces are all about: honor.

    For you to be able to act in such a dishonorable fashion while wearing the same uniform is not just a smite against your brothers and sisters in service, but a literal “spit” on the graves of those that paid the ultimate price.

    I wonder what your CO would say after reading your comments here.

    Let’s find out.

    Sweet dreams.

    Veteran Monkey
    Proudly Served

  14. bill, i will give you half of what you requested. I do apologize for attacking you originally if, in fact, you did not make that post. If, as you claim you did not, surely you can understand the hostility that was meant towards the original poster who chose to mock the service i have pledged my life to defend.

    however, i am not specifically worried about getting ratted out… nothing i have said has disgraced the uniform that i will PROUDLY wear into combat myself, in Baghdad this july. Instead of recognizing a supposed mistaken identification, and correcting me on the matter, you chose to sling mud at my journalististic abilities, my qualifications and devotion to the service, and my character. i see no honor in that.

  15. R.,

    I *did* correct you on the matter, multiple times. You chose to not pay attention.

    I did so in an email to your @us.army.mil email address, and in the very first comment that I posted at 3:04pm this afternoon. I also repeated the correction at 5:28pm.

    I have made it VERY clear that someone going by the handle of “Rob” made the statement that you have continued to attribute to me. Were you not taught to VERIFY YOUR SOURCES in military journalism school?

    Your “half apology” is an example of “too little, too late”. I already sent some emails earlier tonight and will be making a formal complaint to your commanding officer about you using government resources to harass and slander taxpayers.

  16. do as you will (or already did)bill. that is up to you and i am not particularly worried. i didnt slander u again after the original post except to defend attacks that were your chosen reply to a case of mistaken identity. obviously i dont know you, so i would think an intellectual would realize that my response to the original post was a response to the POSTER.

    try to get me in trouble if thats your goal. i dont take kindly to people insulting my service, that is what stimulated my response, so that will be my response to any questions from superior officers.

    i thought any interaction with you would be a battle of intellect, but clearly you are vindictive and want to damage a Soldier who was trying to defend his country in word, since he is not overseas right now to defend it in arms.

  17. PFC P., honor is earned not granted….

    Yet another cocky REMF who wouldn’t know honor if it kicked him right in the nuts. Please go back to your fighting keyboardist 101 post, and stop soiling the US Army uniform any further.

  18. Private P.,

    3BCT Rakkasan, eh? I still have friends in the 1-187 and 3-187th. If you were in my platoon, private, I’d PT you until you couldn’t walk, and then I’d frog-march you to your 1SG and let HIM deal with you. However, since I’m not, I think instead I’ll give your CSM a call at (270)798-6018 and let him know how his soldiers behave, or, barring that, maybe I should give CSM Grippe a call at Division and get HIM involved.

    Everyone else:

    As an honorably discharged vet and still member in good standing of the 502nd Infantry Regiment, and a soldier stationed at Fort Campbell six years, let me please apologize for the shameful behavior of this skidmark. Bill, if you’d like to lodge a formal complaint, I’d suggest you call the Public Affairs Office for Ft Campbell (Phone: (270) 798-3025) I’m sure they’ll offer you a formal apology, and make sure that this matter is appropriately taken care of.

  19. R., once again you’re completely oblivious.

    Attacks? I have never attacked you. You chose to ignore my repeated attempts to correct YOUR case of mistaken identity; I posted what I found out about you from a Google search.

    I don’t see where I insulted the Army or any other United States military service, or ANYTHING that warrants your (repeated) attacks and slanderous accusations towards me.

    As for a “battle of intellect”, I have a couple of quotes from an earlier comment of yours:
    “I make stupid mistakes all the time, I’ll try not to get me down too much.”
    “i spit out grammar errors without a thought to check them.”

    Finally, quit trying to hide behind your uniform. I highly respect the men and women of the US Armed Forces, but that respect is rightfully earned.

    You have given me no reason to respect you as a person, much less as a representative of the United States Army.

  20. to be honest, i am shocked that there is so much hostility on this board. i assumed any army supporter would agree with my initial statement and applaud what i have said. what is so degrading to the uniform? i attacked someone who attacked the “forces” of the United States. Bill, the information you have and have been provided is all too close to the truth it is scary. However since I AM in a chain of command, and even though i thought everything i said to be extremely honorable, you are determined to lodge a complaint against me, i will cut the corners and avoid the bouncing around between departments. The number to the Public Affairs Office is (270) 798-0572. Clearly I am missing something here, and only meant to defend an Army service I am proud to be a part of, but alas, I am facing enemies who are greater than I am.

  21. oh but bill you did. you said i rip people off on ebay, but i havent. I have made good on every transaction that I have been a part of. Second you said I couldnt write, and I mispelled several words. I responded with the fact that this is how my generation interacts on the internet; quickly and sometimes sloppily… but this is not how I conduct my work. Third, you only said you did not make the post… you only later said that someone named “ROB” posted the comment to which i responded, so i assumed you had only forgotten the post made 11 months ago, otherwise I would have known much sooner that I had made a mistake. but the way the post attacked what i do for a living infuriated me enough to follow it up almost a year later.

    just as you did, would you not expect me to defend myself against unfounded attacks?

    clearly my mistake was using my real information, but what seemed important in my initial post was to stress that i truely was a member of the armed services and not some shmuck off the street, and that we would argue and defend our case through any medium.

    do what you will. this is my last post.

  22. R., I’ll make it short and simple:

    I did not make or have anything to do with the comment that got you so upset.

    I informed you multiple times, both here and in email, that you’d made a mistake. I even provided links to the exact comments in question, showing that I was not the person you were looking for a fight with.

    The hostility you see is because you’ve refused to be a man, admit you made a mistake, and give me a SINCERE apology for attacking and slandering me. That’s all I wanted, but you aren’t even willing to go that far.

    May I also suggest that next time you go looking for flame wars on the Internet, that you not use your @us.army.mil email address and Ft. Campbell’s Internet connection while doing so?

  23. r. the hostility you are encountering is simply due to your inability to stand tall and fully admit you made a mistake. Even after being told of your error more than once.

    A simple ‘Gee I really screwed up. I’m sorry.’ would have been the end of this. But no. You chose to ‘half’ apologize and still just be a shitbird about it.

    Nobody here is disrespecting the uniform worn by our soldiers. Those here are disrespecting the person inside -your- BDUs. So far you have not earned the respect of the denizens of this ‘board’.

    I’m actually too disgusted to continue. I’ll STFU won’t say anymore on the subject.

    Mongo, out.

  24. Okay, one more response from me then:

    “you said i rip people off on ebay, but i havent. I have made good on every transaction that I have been a part of.”

    I see a negative feeback comment on your eBay profile that says you took someone’s money without sending them the material they bought, and that your eBay profile is no longer registered/active. If your buyer was happy, why the negative feedback?

    “quickly and sometimes sloppily… but this is not how I conduct my work.”

    If you’re going to brag about how you’re an Army journalist, realize that your behavior on the Internet can come back to bite you when you least expect it.

    “Third, you only said you did not make the post… you only later said that someone named “ROB” posted the comment to which i responded, so i assumed you had only forgotten the post made 11 months ago”

    I very clearly pointed out (at 3:04pm above, complete with links) that I did not make the comment that you so agressively attacked. I commented on international long distance rates. Someone else (“rob”) made the comment that you disliked about the armed forces.

  25. No, i do sincerly apologize for starting this, because, HEY, i got the wrong guy. I clearly should have paid more attention, and none of that was directed at you as a person, but to the post. But i cannot apologize for continuing because i left one post to defend the Army, and as a result had many people attacking my character and journalistic stylings, saying I was fit to serve my country. This is something I have devoted my life to and am risking it for. Should I have ignored that? Would you?

  26. Private P.,

    “to be honest, i am shocked that there is so much hostility on this board. i assumed any army supporter would agree with my initial statement and applaud what i have said. what is so degrading to the uniform? i attacked someone who attacked the “forces” of the United States.”

    I can tell you that the reason for some of the hostility you’re receiving here (particularly from the US Army Vets) is because you have shamed US with your behavior. I’m allowed to express my opinion here, I’m a civillian now. I spent the best 10 years of my life in that proud service, protecting and defending the right of Americans to do just that, and all the other freedoms we enjoy. However, you still wear the uniform, which you pointed out in your original post and again after that.

    Let me spell this out very carefully for you.

    As a US citizen, you generally have the right to express your opinion as you see fit. But when you put on that uniform, or when you point out in speech or print that you are an active duty soldier, in that instant you become a representative of the US Army and of the United States as a nation.

    THAT is why you’re getting a hostile response from me, and probably from several other people here. I don’t take kindly to seeing *you* smear the honor and dignity of my service and my nation by behaving in a less than completely professional manner while wearing (or speaking in the context of wearing) *my* uniform.

  27. screaming eagle,

    you are right, i should not have used my flag as a leverage point. for that, i most sincerly apologize.

  28. You shouldn’t have used your job as leverage either, because you’re a craptastic journalist.

    You don’t fact-check. You don’t use punctuation correctly. Hell, you don’t even bother to use proper capitalization.

    I pity your editor, because I know what kind of work he or she has to do in order to make your articles legible, let alone coherent.

  29. bill,

    you are right. i think i am right to defend what i felt when i read that post. and clearly i should have done so anonymously. if you are going to contact anyone, do so, but please remove all posts that use my military identification thereafter as you are all right, i had no right to post my views as military view.

  30. R.,

    There’s nothing wrong with defending your views. However, you went about it all wrong.

    – You attacked the wrong person, for a comment that they did not make
    – You attacked in the wrong forum (a weblog that has nothing to do with the comment in question)
    – When corrected, you refused to admit your mistake and apologize, and hid behind your uniform.
    – Your biggest mistake – you did all of this through an Internet connection at Ft. Campbell, while identifying yourself as a member of the US Army and providing your Army email address as contact information.

    I’d like to remind you that one of the things we enjoy as United States citizens is a little thing called “Freedom of Speech”. Even though someone (not me, in this case) may say something that you don’t like or agree with, they have the freedom to express their opinions. Many people before you have fought and died to defend that freedom. You might want to read up on it.

  31. R.,

    Thank you for stepping back up to the plate, and showing you have the stones to do the right thing. You have restored a bit of my respect for you, and I take more encouragement from your coming to this conclusion on your own than I would from your 1SG putting a foot to your backside.

  32. R. just sent me an email:

    also i am an idiot there. i saw the three emails in my inbox and assumed they were just telling me that a post was made on my comment, and so i went straight to the message board. i only now have read your posts saying that it wasnt you. now i do truely feel like an ass. i am sorry.

    I’ve finally gotten a sincere apology, and consider this matter closed.

  33. Well, I found this blog to be funny, not because of 90% of the entries but because of R.P. To all the Vets out there, sorry for his loud mouth. He claims to be some big time Army Journalist. What he failed to mention is that he went AWOL when his unit was deploying and is now discharged.
    Also, as you can see, he was not a great journalist to begin with. He spits out ‘facts’ without doing the research to check the validity of the information and just picks fights. Then uses a title from an organization where he failed to succeed as his source for credibility. I am sure this forum is no longer used as the last published comment was in 2007 but I wanted to apologize for those Vets who actually fought in a time where it was truly a hard experience to Bill, who was attacked by an immature person trying to claim adulthood by a youth who still can’t grow up.

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